First off, let me start by saying that our minds can never be completely free of negative thoughts. I recently read Vex King's book called 'Good Vibes, Good Life', in which he says something along the lines of - "The goal isn't to remove the negative thoughts, it is to change how you react to them".
This line hit so hard because it is so damn true.
The website verywellmind defines negative thoughts as thoughts that are irrational and self-defeating. These may be about your body, your face, your abilities, or literally anything else about yourself. No matter how hard we try we are always going to have negative thoughts, even if we meditate and journal daily. Meditation and journalling are only means to understand yourself and your thoughts better.
Everybody has a critical voice in their mind which is always telling them about what not to do or what they are doing wrong. The critical voice is actually present to prevent us from harm or death. But when the same voice starts to interfere with our day-to-day activities, we get on edge. So how do we get these thoughts from getting the worst out of us?
Before we see certain things we need to do when we get pessimistic thoughts, let us take an example so we understand it better. Imagine that you have a presentation today in front of your class or your colleagues, you stayed up all night and you have prepared for it. But just before you get on stage, the voice starts saying 'You cannot do this' or 'Everybody is going to laugh at you'. Your immediate physical response is your heart going crazy or sweating profusely. What do you do now?
1. Take a pause: I know this is the last thing you want to do when you are freaking out but this is the first step. Pause and just take a breath.
2. Watch your thoughts: Now that you are a little less anxious, see your thoughts as if you are watching them from the outside. See what they are actually trying to tell you. Meditation is a great way to detach from your thoughts and change how you react to them. Are these thoughts helping you or doing the opposite? How are they making you feel? Do you want to feel this way?
3. Stop generalizing: Maybe you had a past experience where you were in a similar situation and something bad happened. Your mind is still holding onto it and stopping you from going through the same thing again.
4. Reason with yourself: That was a long time ago, a time when you were a different person, this is happening at a different place and time. And continuing from the example- you are prepared for this. You have your facts right. You have worked hard for this, nothing is actually going to go wrong.
5. Choose to take the right action: Now that you are aware of your thoughts and that they are untrue, take action. Do what you know is right. The right thing to do would be to get on stage and trust the work you have put in.
I know that sometimes it is not this easy and it definitely takes time to start understanding your own thoughts and taking action. And all of our thoughts vary in type and intensity. Do not forget that if your thoughts are becoming hard to control and are leading to self-sabotage, it is important to seek professional help. Remember that you are not alone in this and all of us need a little help sometimes.
You Are Not Your Thoughts.
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